She has a wicked cold today.Where she got from I have no idea, but she's 3 so I guess it just happens.She kept getting up last night waking up Brianna and just whining outside our room.John got up with her 4 times, I did 3.Waking up Brianna wouldn't be such a pain except she's upgrade her "you're burning me alive" scream of 5 minutes to this cat -skinning -in- a -meat -grinder -caterwauling- growl thing for up to 45 minutes.It absolutely horrific, borderlining demonic.I hate it-she sounds so miserable.
Anyway, while Brianna completely embraces this separation anxiety with me(I don't even need to touch her to make her stop, just stand next to her crib and stare at her)Sierra has been coming up with 50 ways to kill bedtime- among which her faves are:"I need a tissue","Brianna's keeping me awake","I'm thirsty" and the ever popular "I have to go potty...again".
I really need to get an ultrasound soon or I'll go nuts.With the girls, I always felt pregnant, if not physically then emotionally.From EPT to delivery.With this baby I feel Nothing.It scares me.I'm afraid i'm gonna be another Caroline Ingalls and only give my poor husband a houseful of girls and not 1 son.It's funny cause I never wanted a son, what with the whole war and drafting and registering at 18 and all.My heart couldn't take that.But now I find myself obsessing with having a son.I can't even come up with a "just in case" girl's name.We loved Caia Danielle for about month, but I'm losing feeling for that.I'm still strong on Johnathan Jayden.
I dunno.I just want to get the u/s so I can see a baby and know everything is ok.My next appt. is next monday the 11th, but I'll only be 16 weeks.If I am still pregnant(and I pray to God i am)this pregnancy is dragging on. s l o w l y.