Thursday January 6, 2005

Ok, so it's 11:36 at night and I'm on the computer-it's been a long while.I agreed to babysit this precious little boy named Jase.I met his family by answering an ad in the paper for a babysitter.I have to say he is absolutely PRECIOUS!!!

I watched him last week with Sierra.They played together so sweetly and shared lunch and watched a movie.Tonight his folks are out till 1 am and they couldn't have called me at a better time.My mother found out she may be unable to return home to W.Virginia until next Thurssday.That wouldn't present a problem except that we can barely afford food for us right now, let alone my mom and brother for an additional week.We normally try to spend $60 a week on food, and so far it's working out.This week it was $95.Funny thing is, I have the sixty for the coming week, and then Melissa called asking me to babysit from 9 or so till 1.That will roughly come out to $40.Isn't God wonderful?!I love how he uses people!!!

Anyway, my need for a baby is still very strong, but I'm proud to report that I haven't brought it up for about 2 days!It still hurts very much and I'm not ok with it, but God is beginning to make it hurt less and massage contentment into my heart.Babysitting Jase actually helped me tonight.He splashed in the tub and laughed and when he cried as his parents left, I got to scoop him up and make it all better by playing on his keyboard.He laughed so hard he almost fell over!Then after his bath, we watched Finding Nemo and he sat cuddled up in my lapholding my hand.Right now he's sound asleep in his bed.I know full well he is another woman's child, but I am grateful to her for in a sense loaning him to me for the night because he temporarily filled an empty space in my heart that Sierra has grown out of.I never wanted her to, but she did.I called john and told him all this, and even he admitted that he noticed what a strong independent nature she has developed and how quickly it grew.

There isn't much else to write right now.Ummm....let me think. .....Nope, nothing else!