Saturday, August 6, 2011

Saturday August 28, 2004

I swear the devil is just trying to work my last nerve!After my family left this afternoon, John decided we were going to the Boardwalk to hang out and have some together time.I really love spending any time i can with him;the problem was that I absolutely hate the way I look since I've had Sierra.
Preparing to go to the Boardwalk literally brings me to tears everytime.It's like it's a constant reminder-as if I don't remind myself enough-that I have unsightly stretch marks, knotted up curly hair, and even though I lost 26 pounds after I gave birth(I only gained 10½lbs)I somehow regained the 26 plus another 11.
If you know anything about South Jersey, if you've lived here more than a year, than you know there's nothing much else to do around here.
Well, I hate going there in the summer because it's like a parade of Paris Hiltons and no matter how hot out it is, all the girls seem to be cold...if you catch my drift.It's just, John is so gorgeous(at least I think so).And if I think so I know there are other girls that will to.His arms are nicely shaped, he smells sooo good,he's got this awesome tatoo of my name in Japanese on his left arm..his hair is sexy( can I say that?- why not. he's my husband.)he's just SO HOT- and I'm so afraid that he'll finally grasp this concept too and notice all the pretty(albeit trashy) girls with their perfect little figures, perfect not- so- little chests, long flowy sun kissed hair and sparkling jewlery.
He says I can look that too if I want...just "diet and exercise".It's not that easy- there are parts that won't cooperate.
I thank God for the verse on Crystal's blog.Beauty shouldn't be only outwards, but that's all men seem to see and care about.i was once told inner beauties are outer uglies.I think more often than not it's the other way around.Heaven help us when those who are inner and outer beauties start multiplying!

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