Today is one of my many blah days.We took my hubby to work and we're home now.I miss him terribly.Sierra's playing with her toys and watching Family Matters with me.She's growing up way too fast.I'm watching her day by day work on standing and walking on her own and I'm longing for another baby.
It's all so frustrating.On one hand I only want Sierra.She's the little girl I prayed for for so long.I sometimes wonder if I could love another baby as much as i love her.And on top of that, this world isn't gonna get any better.if I fear the end of the world, should I really be bringing innocent children into it- is that just selfish?
But then again I always wanted about 3 or 4 babies.To see them all playing and praying and growing together....it's the way it should be.We were ordered by God to be fruitful and multiply.My MIL told us not to have anymore babies till we're rich and famous.That will never happen and God didn't tell us to reproduce if money allows.Money is not my God.
I dunno.At any rate,our 2nd wedding anniversary is coming up next Tuesday.john has a wonderful dinner planned but he has also let on that he has another surprise.i'm hoping it's that he's changed his mind about waiting 2 more years for another baby!I asked him for a clue, and just like a man he gave me the worst one he could:"It's something you want!"
That could a new car,a dozen roses, a new baby, a mini shopping spree at Fashion Bug, spa treatment at a day spa....you get the point.Grrrr.
I'll try to write some more later, but Sierra is torturing the dog and whining, so it must be nap time.