It's funny how when I was a teen, I'd see the usual tired looking mom toting small children and wondered 2 things-
1)why isn't anyone helping her?
2)Where did she go wrong?
The mother always looked disheveled and so worn out.The oldest child was usually around 5 or 6 and toting a ratty haired Barbie doll and talking to herself.The next child was in the front part of the cart throwing a 5 star fit,sticky faced with some nondescript brown stain around their mouth and screaming at the top of their lungs about what they wanted that the poor woman had inevitably said no to.The youngest was a small infant snuggled away in the back of the cart in a carrier, walled in by food and sound asleep.I saw this picture today and thought,"Oh dear God.It's me!"
My 3 year old (who I've told repeatedly to stay on the bench part of the triple carrier shopping cart) was once again lagging behind me, oblivious to the hurried scowls of the crowd of elderly shoppers behind her.She was toting her newest darling- a gift from Christmas-a ratty haired Cinderella Barbie that she lovingly cradled and talked to at the beat of 1 step per 5 seconds.My middle child,a little girl only 15 months old was contendedly(thank Jesus!) gnawing away at the cold sealed mini tub of butter and attracting the usual wrong but well meaning comments from the same elderly hord("AW, hey there sport!Is that good?" or "What a cute little fella"...here I roll my eyes at my beautiful little girl being refered to as a "sport" or" fella"). My youngest, due out in May of next year decided to keep him/herself busy by thumping me behind my belly button,apparently notifying me of the fact of which I was well aware- I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch and it was fast approaching 2pm.
Yet, somehow through the chaos and crowds, I remained in good spirits.I rested in the fact that I was blessed enough to have healthy children - able to annoyingly walk away from me( instead of being in a hospital bed tied to tubes and needles and moniters),gnaw obnoxiously on whatever item I handed them(instead of sitting at home trying to make the best of a Saltine and ketchup dinner) and abuse my tired and sore abdomen(instead of lying on a pile of aborted little bodies).We have a dog who is so spoiled that he snubs his dog food to people food,a cat that snores gently on the soft Mohair sheet set for our bed, lights that turn off and on ,water(though it comes and goes on it's own)that runs and jobs that pay-either in monetary value or in a rich harvest of well brought up God loving citizens .
My children make me laugh, albeit sometimes later in the day rather than at the moment.Like this afternoon in the car.Sierra was constantly teasing Brianna with her Cinderella doll, reaching it out to her and then snatching it away.When Brianna finally got hold of it Sierra was frantic and yelling,"Bee-Onna,give her back!Bee-Onna, that's my Cinde-wella!" Trying to diffuse the situation by explaining Brianna doesn't get her screaming tirade, i told Sierra to calm down.
"Mom", she said exasperatedly,"I'll handle this!"
Not cute, at the time.
And how many times do I have to go hunting for a missing doll right before bedtime due to the fact that "she must be alone and scared and cold"?
Yet today, handing over a yellow lollipop to Sierra, i teased by reminding her gently to share with Cinderella.
"Mom",she said in the same snobby tone as above,"she's just a doll.She isn't real like me.See?Her mouth is painted on!"
But the best part of the day( and i think a lot of moms will back me up on this one) is the part of the day when after tucking the little boogers in,saying a round of prayers,brushing teeth and going potty, lullabies and a story or 2.... you come back an hour or so later to peek in on them before heading off to your own slumber land and see them either spread eagle or curdled up in tight balls, sound asleep and safely snoring in the dimly lit nursery.
Ahhh, the truest form of peace and trust if ever it did it exsist.