Sunday, August 7, 2011

Wednesday December 8, 2004

So I'm here at the library and John calls me and tells me to open a brokerage account on e*trade.I think he's nuts.Stocks are too much of a gamble, and I hate gambling.Besuides, I don't think God honors faith in fate rather than faith in Him.
I learned that last year.His family is BIG on lotto tickets.i finally caved under the curiosity and bought a scratch ticket.seriously, to see me do it you'd have thought I was buying crack!I was so afraid someone would see me and I'd be so embarrassed and ashamed.I didn't win and I lost out on $1 that I could've used on something else and I felt so bad that I promised God I would never gamble again.Now John wants me to do I honor my husband(which I promised God I would do?) or do I honor my promise to the Lord? ......
Then again, if I hold on to what we have so tightly that I'm afraid to use it, does that signify that I'm that in love with our money that I'm terrified to part with it?Maybe I should do what john asks and show God that money isn't my god and that I kow the love of it is the root of all evil.i dunno...maybe I'm overanalyzing this too much.i'm gonna go...I'm on hold with an etrade rep. and she's back on the line.Hard to talk and type and think.

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