I feel so odd today.I've spent the last 6 days running around like a crazy person trying to gather as many character reference letters as possible for my mom.Out of the hundreds(literally) of people I came to find out my mom has met,known, or ever talked to-very few should ever be considered her friends.I'm hurt and ashamed to know alot of these people, and the ones that she knows that I don't who still didn't support her-I'm glad i don't them.
Well, I finally told John what I've been wanting to him for awhile.Girls need to be loved daily and little things mean just as much as the big things.I hae dropped every hint known to mankind about wanting him to buy me flowers and leave little notes and cutesy stuff like that.I've come right out and told him beefore and I thought he heard me, but i guess I was wrong.I know he heard me this time, I just don't hink anything will come of it.it stinks.i know men aren't mind readers and that ruins the whole surprise thing anyway because if you have one of those guys who doesn't think to do cutesy stuff on his own you have to tell him.But it's even worse when you tell him so he knows and he STILL doesn't do it.I dunno.I give up.I know I am extremely blessed to have john for a husband, but I miss the little wayd he used to treat me special.it's like, before we were maried he lived to spend time with me.I know he like football and his PS2 and his TV shows b4, but I came first and he never seemed to mind.Now it's like he knows he's got me right there and since I'm not going aywhere he can take me for granted.Darn my values!darn them to heck!I'd like to shake him up a little by thinking he's losing me, but he wouldn't get shakin' up- he'd get mad.
So I'm alone again and I hate Halloween.Always have.i went out for candy twice.Once i was 5 and one of my mom's friends' sons was dressed as dracula and pinned me against adoor and tried to bie me.Jerk.So now i have this (im)mortal fear of vampires.Stupid, i know.The other time i went to a church "harvest" party dressed as angel and was bored stiff. was something like 9.First off, Christians shouldn't be into Halloween in the first place, in my opinion.Secondly, the ones who are trying not to be shouldn't substitute it with Harvest parties.There is no harvest being brought in, therefore there should be no harvest party.And correct me if I'm wrong, but most Harvest parties seem to be Christian Halloween parties.The words don't even look right next to each other.I mean, do Jewish parents compromise and have a tree up during Hannukah?I think not!So why should we feel ashamed or bad that we don;t take part in Halloween?There are hundreds of holidays celebrated all over the world that we don't recognize;should we feel bad and celebrate them all or maybe find alternatives for our kids?!
Ok.I'm off my soapbox.But seriously i am very passionate about my beliefs so I apologize if i stepped on any toes.But I have the right to say what I believe, just like you have the right not to let it bother you.But if it did, I'm sorry it hurt you.I'm just not sorry I said it.